4 am thoughts

It is 4 am and my son woke up wanting to eat. He has been sleeping until at least 5 but this morning wanted to get up earlier. He must not be too hungry because he is laying on the boppy pillow looking up at me and giving me that killer smile of his that could melt any heart. Right now I am tired and thinking, "yes you are adorable now EAT so I can go back to bed!"

I am not sure why it hits me so hard but another one of my high school classmates died on Sunday. He wasn't a close friend. I did work with him at Pizza Hut, my high school job, but have only really talked to him once in the last 20 years. That was 2 years ago when another classmate died of cancer. Matt, the deceased had been diagnosed with ALS. ALS is a form of muscular dystrophy. My Dad has another form of muscular dystrophy so I know a little bit more about the disease then most people do although I am certainly not an expert. Fortunately my Dad's form of MD is the mildest, slowest progressing kind and probably will not kill him. ALS is the fastest progressing kind. Matt and my Dad were the same age when they were diagnosed and my Dad will be 72 in August. Anyway when I talked to Matt 2 years ago he was in his second year after the diagnosis and I remember thinking, "Wow, he is doing great!" I guess after that he started to go downhill and this last year was a very fast decline. He leaves behind a wife and 3 children. Why has this affected me so? It is the reminder of my own mortality? As I was reading his obituary I was thinking. " There shouldn't be a 38 year old on this page. " When I talked to Matt 2 years ago he had quit his job and was concentrating on spending as much time with his family as possible and just enjoying life. He didn't worry about getting money for them just gave them as much of himself as he could. It is crazy to think about how fast something like ALS or cancer can strike. We all should take a lesson from Matt and live each day to the fullest and let our families know how much we love them every day!